Today I want to talk western comedies. Making a western comedy is strange. It seems apparent that a western comedy’s most important quality is being able to be for the most part genuine to the scene of the era and story, and twist the fuck out of it whilst applying farce comedy and (in some cases) anachronisms. Something along those lines perhaps? They are all still better westerns than Wild Wild West! I proclaim Wild Wild West to be the most stupid, yet vaguely interesting western comedy. It’s like steampunk threw up on the silverscreen without a proper introduction! Enough about that let’s get on with my list.
- Rustler’s Rhapsody(1985)
The many times I’ve watched this somehow the funniest fact is that Rex O’Hurlihan can tell the future, and he shoots people in the hands only. This movie is hands down my favorite. Somehow it has been overlooked for a long time. Even the imdb page is lacking. This movie is one of those “laugh about it all day”, “been quoting like crazy” films.
“Give me a tall glass of warm gin with a human hair in it.”
Rex
Let me give you a brief summary. The movie pokes fun at spaghetti westerns and focuses on Rex as the film’s main protagonist. Rex is good-guy cowboy who is drawn out of a black and white film into a full colored town. Rex is aware of what will happen and also knows that all the western towns are all the same. He quickly makes friends with the town drunk and conflict ensues. The final duel being good guy versus good guy.
The film stars Tom Berenger, Sela Ward, and Andy Griffith. I could rant about this film all day so do yourself a favor and check out the Rustler’s Rhapsody Wikipedia page.
Also, take a look at this clip.
And this clip.
Most Memorable Quote
Colonel Ticonderoga: You missed! How could you miss?
Jud: Even with these sights we have a target a hundred yards away, maybe more, we’ve never fired these weapons before, there’s a definite wind factor, AND we have a problem with the sun!
Colonel Ticonderoga: Just shoot, okay?
Run time:1hr 28min
- Blazing Saddles(1974)
Blazing Saddles is a Mel Brooks classic. This film is definitely a satirical statement to racism. The plot is surrounded by it, but it is played off in such a way as to not shy away from the obscurity of the issue. The setting is 1874 in the old west, and the State Attorney General decides to route a railroad track through the town of Rock Ridge. The issue is getting all the Johnsons (it seems everyone is named Johnson in the town) out of town. Rock Ridge requests a sheriff to help with the rise in crime, and the conniving State Attorney General uses it as an opportunity to appoint an African American sheriff to influence everyone in Rock Ridge to flee.
“I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.”
The film stars Cleveon Little, Gene Wilder, and Mel Brooks. It’s actually been a while since I’ve seen this movie so I am stale in memory. One of my favorite scenes is when Little, who plays Bart, holds himself for hostage. The Blazing Saddles IMDB page has more quotes than I thought, so view it up.
Most Memorable Quote
Bart: I’m rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.
Jim: See? In another twenty-five years, you’ll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.
Run time: 93 min
- ¡Three Amigos!(1986)
My little buttercup! I know this isn’t the stereotypical western, but it’s desert appearances, corrupt political/criminal individuals from an opposing group trying to control the whole town/village, and it’s good guys win quality apply it as so.
In the movie, three famous actors are known for their rise to fame in a series of films where they star as three Amigos in mariachi get-up. Funny thing is it sounds like I am describing Short’s, Chase’s, and Martin’s careers. I mean they pretty much got famous staring in movies and television alongside each other as friends so the irony isn’t far off. To continue with the premise, a letter is sent from a small village in Mexico to the three amigos requesting help with the infamous El Guapo (The Handsome in Spanish) that has been terrorizing the town. Things go south real bad when they realize that it was not a request to be in a film, but an actual request for them to defeat El Guapo and his gang.
“In-famous is when you’re MORE than famous.”
The comedic trifecta of Martin Short, Chevy Chase, and Steve Martin will never be seen again. You may get a laugh out of the summoning of the invisible swordsman, or the bar singing scene.
IMDB page here
Most Memorable Quote
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
Run time: 103 min
- A Million Ways to Die In the West(2014)
I finally watched this movie last week and I have to say I was not disappointed. It prompted me to think about the genre all over again. In a way I see A Million Ways to Die In the West as a rebirth of the western comedy genre. The story surrounds a stereotypical poor sheep herder as he tries to win his ex back and finds new love in the process. However, his new love interest is already married… to an infamous gunslinger. Who would have known Seth McFarlane was a pretty decent actor? Apparently the film started as an inside joke about the dangers of living in the American Old West.
“People die at the fair.”
The film stars Seth McFarlane alongside Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, and Sarah Silverman. The movie has a decent original song sung by Neil Patrick Harris. Here is the trailer if you have not seen it yet. I don’t want to ruin it too much on the account of it being rather new still, so check it out when it is released on DVD! Here is the IMDB page.
Most Memorable Quote
Edward: This is my first vagina.
Ruth: You’ve never seen one!
Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something.
Run time:116 min
- Hallelujah Trail(1965)
This movie is pretty much a western about different groups of people fighting over a cargo of whiskey due for Denver on a wagon train. Just think about the Temperance League, miners, Native Americans, and the U. S. Calvary all trying to get a hold of whiskey. Sounds funny already. The only unimportant issue is the fact that this is the longest movie on this list with a running time of almost three hours! It’s worth it. It’s also the oldest movie on my list, but age is but a number.
“Buffalo were feeding ravenously. Beaver were damming and storing with strange vigor. Horses and dogs were becoming shaggy-haired as never before. And it could be sensed in the booming, bustling mining town of Denver. Most historians agree that the events leading to the Battle of Whiskey Hills and the subsequent ‘disaster’ at Quicksand Bottoms began here in Denver at a miners’ meeting…”
Burt Lancaster, Lee Remick, Jim Hutton, and Pamela Tiffin star in the film. I first saw this film circa 99′. It was a double vhs cassette pack which was a visual cue of length. The only concern viewers may find is the actors that play the Native Americans with face paint on. Since this movie was made in the days when Hollywood was strict about what colored individuals starred in movies and face painting to represent an ethnicity was considered an ethical approach. IMDB page is here.
Movie available on YouTube.
Most Memorable Quote
( I guessed dialogue since there are a lack of source quotes)
Person 1: (translating) He says his name is Chief Five Barrels.
Person 2: Why do they call him that?
Person 1: (translating) He says that is how much it takes him to get drunk.
Run time: 2hrs 45min
Honorable mentions (which are practically on my list, but I do not feel like expanding on) include:
Wagons East!
Julian’s Bookstore scene
Box of Cabbage 